From the Desk of Hugh MacMillan

Stress !!

Stress is a very necessary part of our life.  It motivates us to get going, it gives us a shot of adrenalin when needed, it raises our energy to complete tasks.  It is a built-in response system, once necessary for survival to our ancestors in determining whether to take flight or fight. 

Why then do people complain about stress?  Our society demands a lot from us.  Work, overtime at work, the best for our children, money management, expectations to perform, expectations to consume...it's an endless list.  We expect so much from ourselves.  Increasingly people come to us on "stress leave" from work or who are physically ill due to stress.  Most feel that they have no control over the stress in their lives, and feel somewhat exhausted and defeated.

Here's a suggestion:

Write a list of all the stressors in your life.  Then divide the list in two: one list of stressors over which you really have no control (e.g. your wages, your bald head, your meddling in-laws).  Now feel some grief about this list, but set it aside and begin work on the other list...items where you do have some measure of control.  Use the Stressbusters handout in the Articles and Resources section on this website for some help with this.  Write down some goals or guiding principles which will help you to eliminate some of the unreasonable expectations you have of yourself.  For example if you have a goal such as "To have a healthy and fun relationship with all family members", could you forego having a sparkly clean house in favour of spending more time with your ten year old?  Is it absolutely necessary to have a wide screen TV if your goal is to spend money wisely?  Are the reasons for some stressful actions or situations rational?  Will I be depriving my child if he doesn't play rep hockey next year or have the latest gaming technology?  Is my troubled relationship important enough to attend couples counselling?  Carefully examine all stressors on your list from different angles.  Eliminate or reduce one stressor at a time.  Give yourself credit.  Learn breathing and relaxation techniques.  Talk to a friend. 

Stress generally does not go away on its own, just like that irritating car problem that we all try to ignore.  It requires maintenance and repair, a wise investment to lower your stress level and to be healthy.

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